Y'all have probably seen the "Cupcake for Dinner" Youtube video that has been flying around the internet lately. It popped up in my newsfeed a few times, and I just ignored it. Some people were saying how hilarious it was, how this was just the cutest/funniest kid, and I've heard others say, "Oh no way! My kids will never talk to me like that. They'd be in so much trouble." So, with all the talk, I finally had to check it out for myself.
If you haven't seen it, you can watch it first...
If you haven't seen it, you can watch it first...
Y'all, this video just made me sad on both ends. Sure, it's a little funny. But toward the end, you can hear that both the mom and the kid are frustrated and beginning to get angry with each other. Obviously, this kid feels like he isn't being heard. He isn't yelling, "Listen, listen, listen!" just to be funny. He means it. And the Mom is trying her best to stick to her guns because he did something that he shouldn't have.
But here's the deal:
Kids are people too.
Obviously, he did something wrong. It sounds like he is receiving a punishment, and that's not fun. And yeah, no cupcakes for dinner. I get that.
But, can't you just hear him out? Make him feel like he is being heard, like he is important, and his ideas are important. Let him tell you his whole schpeal. And then, sit down with him and tell him, "I hear what you are saying. I appreciate your thoughts. But, this is why the answer is still no."
I feel like so many people think that kids can't think through things. Like "No" should mean "No" and that's just that. But really, what do they learn from that? If the answer is no because they did something they shouldn't, can't you tell them that? Maybe next time they will think through to the consequences of their actions!
Of course, kids need consequences. They need parents who are firm, and won't back down when they aren't behaving how they should.
But they also need to be heard and taught. It's our job as parents not just to say no, and keep them within the boundaries. We have to teach them about how and why they should stay within those boundaries. We have to teach about consequences. Because when we don't teach, they don't learn. And they sure aren't going to be respectful to a parent who doesn't show respect to them.
Hear them out. Listen. Reallllly listen. And then, talk to your kids. Walk them through the whole situation. Be firm and give consequences when necessary.
And make sure that while you are doing so, your actions and tone of voice are always saying,
"You is special. You is kind. You is important." :)
Because...
But here's the deal:
Kids are people too.
Obviously, he did something wrong. It sounds like he is receiving a punishment, and that's not fun. And yeah, no cupcakes for dinner. I get that.
But, can't you just hear him out? Make him feel like he is being heard, like he is important, and his ideas are important. Let him tell you his whole schpeal. And then, sit down with him and tell him, "I hear what you are saying. I appreciate your thoughts. But, this is why the answer is still no."
I feel like so many people think that kids can't think through things. Like "No" should mean "No" and that's just that. But really, what do they learn from that? If the answer is no because they did something they shouldn't, can't you tell them that? Maybe next time they will think through to the consequences of their actions!
Of course, kids need consequences. They need parents who are firm, and won't back down when they aren't behaving how they should.
But they also need to be heard and taught. It's our job as parents not just to say no, and keep them within the boundaries. We have to teach them about how and why they should stay within those boundaries. We have to teach about consequences. Because when we don't teach, they don't learn. And they sure aren't going to be respectful to a parent who doesn't show respect to them.
Hear them out. Listen. Reallllly listen. And then, talk to your kids. Walk them through the whole situation. Be firm and give consequences when necessary.
And make sure that while you are doing so, your actions and tone of voice are always saying,
"You is special. You is kind. You is important." :)
Because...
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