Happy Thursday, friends!
Last night, I got to hang out with some other Mama friends from my Missional Community group sans children and just chat. It was so nice to have some girl time! (I had lil’est man with me, but the other two had a boys’ night with Daddy! And, who doesn’t wanna hold a lil baby? So, for much of the night, my arms were free!) I just felt so encouraged to talk with other Mamas and remember that I am not alone in all of this! There are other moms going through the exact same things as me. One friend was talking about her kids who are teenagers. (She has great teenagers!) But as we sat there and talked, I realized that Micaiah is going to enter teenage-hood in just 9 short years! 9 years is going to go fast, and I feel totally unprepared for that!
Last night, I got to hang out with some other Mama friends from my Missional Community group sans children and just chat. It was so nice to have some girl time! (I had lil’est man with me, but the other two had a boys’ night with Daddy! And, who doesn’t wanna hold a lil baby? So, for much of the night, my arms were free!) I just felt so encouraged to talk with other Mamas and remember that I am not alone in all of this! There are other moms going through the exact same things as me. One friend was talking about her kids who are teenagers. (She has great teenagers!) But as we sat there and talked, I realized that Micaiah is going to enter teenage-hood in just 9 short years! 9 years is going to go fast, and I feel totally unprepared for that!
Can you imagine this picture in 9 years?!
When I got home, I was rocking Elijah to sleep, and started reading in Proverbs. I read this...
“Virtue is to be preferred to gold. Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” Proverbs 4:23
How am I going to teach my kids to guard their heart? How, when they are teenagers, are they going to guard their heart? And, will they honor God with their heart?
And, then I remembered some notes that Chris sent me a couple of weeks ago. He was talking to his boss about just this thing... about teaching kids the right attitudes to have as they walk through life. Attitudes that honor God. He called them heart attitudes.
Heart attitudes are 7 simple ideas that help us gauge the attitude of our heart in the actions of our lives. So, when our actions are not in line with the attitude that is pleasing to God, we can recognize it and pray that God would change it in us. Here they are:
7 Heart Attitudes:
1. Put others first.
Practically:
“Make the other person’s day. Listen to them. Share each other’s burdens, needs, and feelings. Be the first to offer acceptance, compassion, encouragement, respect, and security.”
Love one another. John 13:34
Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. Philippians 2:4
Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2
Do everything without complaining or arguing. Philippians 2:14
2. Live an open and honest lifestyle.
Practically:
“Add honor to the family name. Live the truth. Take the harder right; it’s worth it in the end.”
Putting away lying and speak truth with your neighbor, for we are members one of another. Ephesians 4:25
3. Offer correction lovingly; receive correction humbly.
Practically:
“Discipline yourself. Ask for feedback. Give scriptural advice. Take the wise path.”
He who ignores discipline comes to poverty and shame but whoever heeds correction is honored. Proverbs 13:18
Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Colossians 3:21
Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger. James 1:19
4. Clean up relationships.
Practically:
“Apologize before things get out of hand. Talk through problems. When you mess up, clean up.”
First be reconciled... Matthew 5:24
Do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Do not let any rotten talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful to others, building them up according to their needs. Ephesians 4:26-27, 29
If anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Galatians 6:1
5. Participate in family life.
Practically:
“Keep the family stories alive. Spend time with your family. Pray for each other. Show gratitude. Help out around the house. Give kisses and hugs.”
Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each one has received a gift, use it to care for one another, as good stewards of God’s universal kindness. 1 Peter 4:8-10
6. Give something back.
Practically:
“Share. Make the world better. Support justice.”
He who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. 2 Corinthians 9:6
He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? Micah 6:8
7. Follow leaders within biblical boundaries.
Practically:
“Choose your attitude. Respect old people. Ask for help.”
Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you. Exodus 20:12
Children, do what your parents tell you. This is only right. Fathers, don’t exasperate your children by coming down hard on them. Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master. Ephesians 6:1, 4
Be responsive to your pastoral leaders. Listen to their counsel. They are alert to the condition of your lives and work under the strict supervision of God. Contribute to the joy of their leadership, not its drudgery. Why would you want to make things harder for them? Hebrews 13:17
I love this list! While it does not at all make me feel more prepared to have teenagers, it does help calm my anxious heart! I like the idea of teaching my kids these concrete ideas about their attitudes, and what attitudes make God happy with their life!
And, of course, I take a lot of comfort in knowing that my kid’s salvation does NOT come from me. It comes from Jesus, and at the end of the day, I trust and pray that God pursues my kids just like he did me. I pray that God will soften their heart toward Him, and call them to himself. And I pray that they will leave a legacy to their kids, and grandkids, and great grandkids that the Bennett family is a family that loves God and honors him with the attitudes of our hearts.
“Virtue is to be preferred to gold. Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” Proverbs 4:23
How am I going to teach my kids to guard their heart? How, when they are teenagers, are they going to guard their heart? And, will they honor God with their heart?
And, then I remembered some notes that Chris sent me a couple of weeks ago. He was talking to his boss about just this thing... about teaching kids the right attitudes to have as they walk through life. Attitudes that honor God. He called them heart attitudes.
Heart attitudes are 7 simple ideas that help us gauge the attitude of our heart in the actions of our lives. So, when our actions are not in line with the attitude that is pleasing to God, we can recognize it and pray that God would change it in us. Here they are:
7 Heart Attitudes:
1. Put others first.
Practically:
“Make the other person’s day. Listen to them. Share each other’s burdens, needs, and feelings. Be the first to offer acceptance, compassion, encouragement, respect, and security.”
Love one another. John 13:34
Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. Philippians 2:4
Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2
Do everything without complaining or arguing. Philippians 2:14
2. Live an open and honest lifestyle.
Practically:
“Add honor to the family name. Live the truth. Take the harder right; it’s worth it in the end.”
Putting away lying and speak truth with your neighbor, for we are members one of another. Ephesians 4:25
3. Offer correction lovingly; receive correction humbly.
Practically:
“Discipline yourself. Ask for feedback. Give scriptural advice. Take the wise path.”
He who ignores discipline comes to poverty and shame but whoever heeds correction is honored. Proverbs 13:18
Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Colossians 3:21
Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger. James 1:19
4. Clean up relationships.
Practically:
“Apologize before things get out of hand. Talk through problems. When you mess up, clean up.”
First be reconciled... Matthew 5:24
Do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Do not let any rotten talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful to others, building them up according to their needs. Ephesians 4:26-27, 29
If anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Galatians 6:1
5. Participate in family life.
Practically:
“Keep the family stories alive. Spend time with your family. Pray for each other. Show gratitude. Help out around the house. Give kisses and hugs.”
Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each one has received a gift, use it to care for one another, as good stewards of God’s universal kindness. 1 Peter 4:8-10
6. Give something back.
Practically:
“Share. Make the world better. Support justice.”
He who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. 2 Corinthians 9:6
He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? Micah 6:8
7. Follow leaders within biblical boundaries.
Practically:
“Choose your attitude. Respect old people. Ask for help.”
Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you. Exodus 20:12
Children, do what your parents tell you. This is only right. Fathers, don’t exasperate your children by coming down hard on them. Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master. Ephesians 6:1, 4
Be responsive to your pastoral leaders. Listen to their counsel. They are alert to the condition of your lives and work under the strict supervision of God. Contribute to the joy of their leadership, not its drudgery. Why would you want to make things harder for them? Hebrews 13:17
I love this list! While it does not at all make me feel more prepared to have teenagers, it does help calm my anxious heart! I like the idea of teaching my kids these concrete ideas about their attitudes, and what attitudes make God happy with their life!
And, of course, I take a lot of comfort in knowing that my kid’s salvation does NOT come from me. It comes from Jesus, and at the end of the day, I trust and pray that God pursues my kids just like he did me. I pray that God will soften their heart toward Him, and call them to himself. And I pray that they will leave a legacy to their kids, and grandkids, and great grandkids that the Bennett family is a family that loves God and honors him with the attitudes of our hearts.
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